When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Firstly of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Normal issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated just lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At the moment we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re enthusiastic about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however in case you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other means. Should you’re not consuming in the course of the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the least 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t potential whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel once you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It normally takes a number of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually depends upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see in case you may make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you understand you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. Should you spend lots of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which ends up in lots of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly wish to take a step again.

You may not even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply turn out to be a part of your interior chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No exhausting alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been stuffed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been continuously shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I should not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra conscious method to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when enthusiastic about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of in the case of speaking about alcohol is the thought of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t must hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

Should you’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested in your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you’ve got recommendations/suggestions for find out how to make this a part of my life-style with my consuming associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new associates – haha. However, critically, if your pals really respect and assist you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to start out consuming once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definitely would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s good to determine for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your pal group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most primary sober individual round – and I’m pleased with consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit of extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. Should you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam